Mean What You Say

...And Know What You Said.

So over the weekend a really energetic woman at an art exhibit asked me "What Nationality are you?".
This is still making me roll my eyes. I'm American. Born and raised in New York State. But, being kind and being that we were both adult women dressed up for an event, I answered what she MEANT to ask me, "What ethnicity/race are you?" I wish it were polite to use the word "race" in conversation, but it seems to have fallen out of style and I don't see it turning around to come back. What race am I would be the most direct and correct question. The best acceptable choice of words is "What is your ethnicity?". "What is your nationality?" just grinds my gears. I'm not sure when it became acceptable to ask someone their ethnicity in chit chat, first time small talk, especially when it's NOT a date, but I've had this happen to me since at least as early as 7 years old. I remember being asked and not being sure what they were asking, so the adult rephrased "Are you Indian or Asian?" Yes, unfortunately I know first hand that adults ask children stupid questions. Unfortunately I've seen other children squirm since under that same question.

If it's not PC to say "retarded" (even though I use it as it was defined in regards to health!), why the hell is it acceptable for adult white men and women to ask people they don't know what their race is? If you're not filling out a medical questionnaire or a census taker then it's none of your business. If you're a Census taker I'm going to refuse to answer the question (and now they aren't allowed to guess and put down what they think is correct either!). I'm proud of my facial features that might draw one to notice, but if I questioned a white person if they were white they'd be confused and perhaps offended.

Yes this happens a lot. I think it happens most often to those who are thought/look/are confused for being Hispanic. And even then a large part of Hispanics are assumed to be black first.... I so have to stop going down that rabbit hole 'cause that lack of cultural understanding is astounding. (But Latino and Hispanic are, technically, not necessarily the same!!!)

Americans butcher language like no one else. My race is different than my ethnicity. This is true for many people in all sorts of combinations. Yet, all too often the two words are treated as identical. Now more and more "nationality" is used in place of either correct word. It bothers me (as if you didn't already notice!).

I am not nearly as wordy as my husband. I do, however, try to say what I mean as clearly as possible. So while my speech is rather plain, I am careful, especially with people I don't know, to try not and be an idiot, offend, or put them off. If I am charged about a particular subject and you decide to stick around in my workspace, then whatever you get is your own fault, but generally, especially at a gathering of strangers, I thought race, religion and politics were suppose to be kept to a minimum. Am I the only one who was taught that? Does anyone else get the race question? (And Caucasian is a race, Jewish is an ethnicity &/or religion... I love my Jewish friends but when you insist you're not white, you're Jewish, you're missing the question.)