Reset Button

I think the past week has been about me hitting the reset button...
I'm just a little slow in realizing that only now.

The surgery put my body into a chemical reboot. Let me tell you - THAT can be quite the silent, invisible roller-coaster! There comes a downside to being kinetically self-aware... you're impatient with changes because you're ultimately a little more aware of the process than others are. Insomnia then lethargy then a manic day... wasn't quite so fun but luckily the pendulum has lost momentum.

I've (understandably) been tensed, wound-up and feeling isolated since my surgery. My energy and physical restrictions while in recovery had me home a bit too much... cabin fever can happen anytime, even in sunny June!  So.. now that I'm a bit better time to be the real me and do something to solve the problem!

Accomplish things, find a center, spend time with people. (and clean what you can). It's helped.
Had I not lost the sketch book, I got some ideas down & worked through. I got the first of a flame painting series done while waiting in my studio for the electrician.

I got out of my cluttered apartment and my dusty studio, both of which make me feel guilty for doing anything over cleaning, and went into Boston for an afternoon. I had hoped one of my friends in the city would be available for dinner at the Oyster House, but settled for catching up with one for a few hours and walking around for a long time instead. Lonely and tense? Swapping backrubs with a buddy you haven't seen in almost a year while you watch Futurama is not a bad plan of attack. Left alone in the late afternoon and too self-conscious to go eat dinner alone? The Boston Harbor Walk is not a bad place to spend some of that rare treat of not being directly responsible for everyone else's dinner. Sitting beside the harbor, the sea air and steady ambient sounds, more details to discern with every minute, it was VERY good for the soul. The only small downside was that I had neither sketchbook nor notepad with me. Next time I will go better prepared.
That walk from the Aquarium to Battery Wharf and back to Lewis Wharf, with warm clear air and a gentle sea breeze... is something I highly recommend.

Spending time with people... the most difficult part for me to arrange... worked out well. Wednesday nights are not the easiest for me to get away from the house, BUT it happens to be the night that a group of artists is all but guaranteed to be out in Lowell. For many reasons I'm not comfortable going out to places at night all alone. Sometimes men can be dangerous assholes. Often if I'm alone that person whom everyone is avoiding will latch on to me at the same moment my meal/drink/requested song arrives. Or, because I  am less comfortable in my own skin than I used to be, I will be without any conversation the entire time I'm at a bar/club. So I have copped out to only going places where I already know at least one person there or have been invited by someone performing.

Artists are as interesting and layered as their art. This makes friends who are artists especially fun in my world. Even my very quiet low-key girls I grew up with. There are those who's sight reaches only as far as the end of their arms, unaware of what is blatantly obvious to everyone else. Others have the quiet cunning instincts of the ever-vigilant Magpie, seeing even the tiniest glints here and there, catching the words between the words. Those who pay attention to detail wherever they are as gathering experiences for a portfolio to be able to pull out of their pocket decades from now. Artists are adults, children, crazy and very human. It was good to be a part of a group for a while. Great to be able to have conversations informally over music. Nice to be able to people watch in the lulls but not have that be the bulk of the evening. Refreshing to laugh, truly laugh. Funny to be loudly bantering over nothing in the middle of the night because apparently your comment brings to mind a song that they think you really must go hear at that moment. A perfect night to walk around in every way.