Still Alive... and annoyed. (so this is a rant)

Another day, another scar.
Since my last post I've had my thyroid removed. I have a wonderful ENT surgeon who was more concerned with decreasing my existing scar at the site than I was about the appearance of my scars en total. This, is an awesome thing. It means not only did he make sure I was overly aware of all the risks and what surgery means and how it changes my life, but he took care to do the least harm and best job possible.

I am more physically restricted than he prepares one for, but having had a smaller surgery at basically the same site I had a better idea than he did of what my level of restriction/lift restriction/ range of motion would be.

As a mother, it's difficult to be patient with my body as it heals. I really want my apartment clean and heaven knows my husband ain't gonna clean it. I want to play and wrestle on the floor and teach my boy t-ball... and I can't do that really yet either. I start to offer piggyback rides every other day only to remember that I can't... I have to turn down some of my son's overzealous hugs/attacks/silliness/games.

As an artist, the readjustment that my body is going through chemically is draining. I'm tired a lot and can't envision projects at the moment. Not my usual "ADD struggling to keep the vision in my head long enough to get it all down" battle with myself that I'm used to, but more of something akin to writer's block with a touch of apathy. Apathy sucks.

As a person, most medical battles really suck. It is tough from a medical side sometimes, sifting through the info, making time to go have bloodwork drawn or go to appointments, but having to battle other people is a ridiculous add-on. When you want to play something down people say stupid shit that they wouldn't say if they knew the whole story. When you tell people the whole story they act pitiful and either make you feel bad that you told them because they are now sad or you get angry because you don't want pity you simply didn't want them to say the same stupid thing you've heard 10 times already.

Yes people, you kinda need a thyroid. When you have it removed you take a daily pharmaceutical replacement. It's not really that foreign of a concept in this day and age! When you ask me "Did it HAVE to be removed?" and you're over the age of 20 I'm going to assume you're an idiot. You wouldn't have an organ that helps regulate your entire body removed if there wasn't a problem. No matter how long I've known a person, if they ask me that particular question I am assuming that they have a low IQ and somehow got to this point of their lives based on their looks or giving great sexual favors. I understand people's curiosity, really I do, but PLEASE take a note from your kids. Kids about 10 years old are more likely to ask me well worded relevant questions than the adults.
The question isn't "It wasn't cancerous, was it?". The question is "Why did you have it removed?"
The question isn't "Did it hurt?", the question is "Does it still hurt?"
Don't ask me "Was there another way?" Ask me "How long did you know about it before surgery?"
Dear Lord, stop saying "Well, at least you don't live alone!" and listen to the kids who say "I guess your son has to pick up his own toys now, huh?" (and by the way, he still doesn't half the time, but he's only 3.)
When I tell you I have a 5 pound lift restriction, be smart enough to realize I live with a child who weighs 6 times that before thinking I am back to doing everything.
If you ask me if it was cancerous and I say yes, don't look panic stricken like I'm gonna drop dead at any moment.
If you ask me if it was cancerous and I say no, don't then pretend I didn't have surgery at all and suddenly am feigning my limitations.
When I tell you, in truth, that one or two tiny goiters are very common, but I had 9 large ones, don't tell me "Oh that can't be right." (Apparently, somehow, if I had had 9 everyone in the world would've heard about it, so I had to be lying.)


This reminds me very much of another situation people are stupid about - learning about a person's miscarriage. I hear other people say things and I just want to take them aside and say "Did you hear what you just said to her?!?!" Seriously, how is telling someone "It wasn't meant to be" suppose to be helpful? Or worse, "You can always try again." Really people? You're basically telling this person that whatever they are going through at the moment doesn't matter. Not only that, but trying again doesn't ensure that poor person doesn't go through heartache and physical mess again. I hear less common, VERY wrong things being said too... but I am astounded by the most common idiot things society seems to breed.
There is no need for the shit that we say to people in uncomfortable situations. (I say stupid things when a person's parent is in the hospital - so I'm not without fault.) Really all we need to say, 90% of the time is "That sucks that you're going through that right now. I hope things get better." And, if you truly have time and will follow through (ONLY if you have time and will follow through) "Is there anything I can do for you that is helpful?"

Oh, and the next person who asks me if (or worse, when) I'm going to have a second child should really REALLY watch out. First, I JUST HAD SURGERY YOU DUMB F*&(^%. Second, unless you're my son's grandparents, it is absolutely 100% NONE of YOUR BUSINESS! How did asking a woman if she's going to have more children become as common a topic as the weather?!?!
It is rude to be asked that question:
-by anyone within a month of having major surgery
-by someone you haven't seen in 6 years, within the first 2 minutes of talking to them
-by an elderly lady you don't know
-by your son's friend's mother who also has only one child
-by your neighbor, who you already gave an honest answer to, twice, last month
- by someone you grew up with, chat with occasionally online but haven't actually seen in over a decade.
And here's some more that haven't happened in the past 7 days:
-by anyone who doesn't know your full name
-by anyone you haven't physically seen in over a decade
-by anyone too old to be your older brother/sister
-by anyone you've already answered that question for within the last 2 years (this includes parents)