The new backhanded compliment

Sometimes I get compliments out-of-the-blue on my artwork.
For a moment after I register it as a sincere compliment I smile and am happy.
Lately though, I only get that single moment to revel in the compliment before the person ruins it with a "you need to". For me, the pushy "You need to do xyz. Really! If you contact blah blah blah online I'm sure they would love your work. Here, I'm writing it down for you. Oh! and there's a phone number. You should call them now. I'll wait."

Okay, slightly over dramatic, but sadly only slightly.

It has become the new backhanded compliment to me. It isn't, I know through others eyes, but that is how it feels to me. When the person is an artist or editor or collector 1) the suggestion holds real value 2) it's always worded better. The casual non-artist is without reason more in-your-face about it all. The non-artist simply DOES NOT UNDERSTAND. Which makes such things said online easy to deal with (I just don't type back until I can write "Ok. Thanks. Bye" In person such confrontations are SOOOOOOO painfully difficult for me. I don't want to be mean because these people aren't trying to offend me. They truly think they are being supportive. They have no idea that they are bothering me. They have no idea that if it's a genuinely intelligent suggestion than I have probably done so already. (Unlike writers who keep their rejection letters I burn mine.) To steal a line from my friend, Jeff,:
Art is HARD
And unfortunately our world forgets it. We are in a time where much of the time people have no idea how it is to be walking in anyone else's shoes. Little old ladies stick their noses into your parenting suggesting things that are kind but you know haven't a chance in hell of working. People outside of my faith community tell me all the time (incorrectly!!!!) what my church does and doesn't stand for. (For the record the sign "Bigotry in the name of God is still bigotry" was at a sister church of mine, so yeah haters, just leave me alone because you don't understand we're not about hate) And increasingly people with no background in art, galleries, publication or printing keep telling me what I should be doing. It's condescending. Telling me "Your art would look great in children's books" is a compliment. At least it's a compliment that would feel like one. Telling me "You need to get yourself published." or "You need to use XYZ brand of paint." or "I really like this one but you need to paint over her and make her red" is aggravating. No... it's insulting!  All of those have been said to me this month by non-artists.

I want to know if it makes sense that those who are not artists out there. I also would love to find a non-snarky something to say to these people that would ideally get them to not say things that way again to me. I would settle for being able to shut them up without insulting them back though. (Especially when one woman I see on a weekly basis).

Art is hard.
The art of dealing with stupid people shouldn't be.