I shouldn't be online at all...
but it's the least-pain distraction in recent weeks.
That's not an excuse, it's a statement of what is.

First PT appt this morning - evaluation of my arm. Epicondylitis SOUNDS like a fun thing, but it's not. I only have 3 "pieces of homework". So super simple I left thinking "Really? I must do that stretch a few times a day naturally!" Maybe I do... because once I got home and did them they HURT like <insert my laundry of curse words to diffuse my pain here>.

I wanted to draw in the studio today. I still might. I wanted to take out the trash, even though I can't do so well when my arm isn't on fire. No chance of doing that today. I want to get drunk (to mask the pain) and draw (to feel productive). That's what I'm reduced to. What I will do instead is pop more ibprofen than you should take all at once, have a small snack and go to teh studio while leaving my laptop here so as not to remain on the internet. In all likelihood I will paint instead of drawing because I do lesser tiny fine motor movements  when I paint than when I draw. Then, when my frustration with my physical abilities makes me want to throw things out the window I will pack up... now if I am good to myself I will leave before I am on the verge of tears and go for a mile walk. If I am my stubborn self and stuck at it too long, well, I don't know. Maybe "Mother Mother" can be found on the radio and screamed along to on the drive back home.

Oh yeah, this is what pain does to people, it steals a little bit of your soul.

I was pretty happy-go-lucky this morning until the pain set in.
And we're now at the "cause pain in stretching or need surgery next year" phase. M*(%erf*(&er.

I finally figured out how to do my self-portrait. damnit. I want to do it while I can see the steps in my mind. My arm, and by extenion my hand, don't want to cooperate. damn.