2014

A new year, almost another year older, and after listening to other artists I've decided that I should breathe life into this blog again, but with gusto this time around. I know it sounds incredibly corny, and it is, but so am I. At heart I am a sentimental "my rules make sense to me" artist and mother whom really wants to have a simple life of making great art that sells, meeting my kid at the bus stop to come home to giggle over afternoon snack then help him with his homework as I start dinner. The occasional concert and game night (red wine required!) with good friends and a working hands and arms that aren't in constant pain.

Disclaimer: My arm is still screwed up. This blog will contain rantings and cursing due to this flipping unacceptable condition. It happens. The pain and thus intermittent inability to use my dominant arm and hand affect every aspect of my life. I haven't given up, but I also am not going to waste the energy pretending the pain isn't there and that I can do everything I could just 3 years ago the pace that I did.

For anyone reading this currently, I am already pieces of the pieces I want to be above, and for that I am blessed. As for the real life applications of all of that, it's not as pretty as it sounds.  Similar to how the lovely Art Teachers Hate Glitter (who's awesomeness can be found: http://athglitter.com ) describes the good, bad and ugly of a classroom, I hope to combine the good, bad and ugly of being an unrecognized artist living in a real life with a physical studio and a very physical limitation that is totally impeding my ability to get a desired fraction of the thousands of images that go through my head in a day down on paper or canvas or typed. To top that off, I'm finally "of that age" to start thinking "I'm of that age" but young enough that to actually say those words aloud with anyone other than my closest friends who are also in their 30s, would kill me. Or the laughter of everyone would be so loud it would pop my eardrums.

I've been reminded kindly by the universe this week of some of my most supportive friends over time whom I no longer talk to, and the quotes they left me with, in writing, have me remembering that I should be doing what makes me happy - and that if it hurts I'm doing it wrong. Hence the blog reboot. If I find myself not sleeping because my brain is overactive (like tonight) I will write. If pincer grasp required for a lot of my art is too painful; or the tremors in my hand too great to work on my art, I will blog. Next time I find myself reading the inspiration to join the studios over and over like an obsession, I will blog and share the note. Should I ever either acquire the skill to take great photos of my own work or figure out what to barter with the photographers I know to get my pieces photographed without paying them from my non-existent earnings, I will share.

For me, openly sharing my work and my thoughts with strangers for criticism is EXTREMELY daunting. It is the second reason that this blog hasn't grown before: I am a common cowardly artist. Art is something that is bringing the inside out, it is sharing how you see something, the perspective that is yours, the voice that is your own. There are moments where putting a new piece of work out for public display feels like you've posted a picture of yourself in a bikini on an online forum. It is just uncomfortable.It's daunting. It hurts to hang art. I've had a studio for over 2 years... and because of how critical I am of my own work, hanging work hasn't gotten any easier. Then there's the physically "Hanging work is a pain in the ass for everyone." part of art that doesn't get talked about much. Rarely would any two people hang a group of work the same for display. RARELY. I find great comfort in that. Remembering that, overhearing the hemming and hawing of any two artists over which arrangement should be used, makes me feel a little less inept for my hesitations.

Oh, in case you're wondering, the difficulty doesn't keep me from doing it. The only way out is through. Fake it 'til you make it and try to enjoy the ride you're on.