Letter to my neighbor

I don't have a document program that works on my laptop at the moment, so please disregard this post.

Dear Neighbor,

Two months of being overly aware of everything we do in our own apartment after 8pm, doing our best to be beyond reasonably quiet, apparently did nothing for you. You still insisted on a face-to-face meeting and then did not show up. You were home. I know you were home because an hour before the meeting, as I was laying down resting with my son, we could hear your daughter throwing a fit (presumably because she was no more eager to lay down than my son had been) and your car was in the parking lot. Your lexus is a bit noticeable in the parking lot because you still have out of state plates even after over a year in the state.

We do not use our Xbox Kinect as intended, for nightly exercise, because it could give you cause to complain. I impose my son and myself on our friends for playdates because their downstairs neighbors don't mind the general noise made by average childrens' play. We changed out my son's bathtoys for much softer ones meant for the bathtub so that you and your daughter no longer have to listen to matchbox cars sinking to the tub bottom. I don't do laundry after 8pm unless it's necessary for the next day. We haven't taken showers after 8:30. Yes, our son takes his nightly bath at 8pm, but contrary to your opinion, 8pm is the actual most common bathtime for the 3 year old children we know!

And with all these things you still feel we cause too much noise during the evenings. We've been as considerate as is reasonable. We tried to point out the truth - much of the noise CAN'T be us. We don't know what else you would expect us to do, and after not showing up to the meeting today, again acting in the manner that the world should revolve around you and your daughter alone, I frankly don't give a damn. My son has been hen-pecked to walk and be quiet and all the synonyms for "slow and quiet" that we could come up with for 2 months. We're done. Your continued complaints even through our quietness only proves to us that at least one of 3 things is true:
1) the noises bothering you are not being caused by us
2) your expectations for quiet in apartment living are unreasonably set high
3) your stress has gotten the better of you and we are your targets for venting

Unlike the barking I hear most days of your days from your window as your dog is bothered by every dog being taken for a walk, we have no dog. Yes, your dog's barking is annoying, especially when our windows are also cracked open and your dog has goaded another dog into barking back, but that's part of living in a community that allows dogs.

For the record, when you accused us of waking your daughter at 1am, it was you who should have felt bad for us. I was waking up every night right along with you, but unlike you, it wasn't MY CHILD who was crying every night at 1 in the morning. Our apartment was wedged between two babies...  so while I had already gone through that normal developmental stage with my own son I got a bit of a ride being woken up nightly by other people's children. Did I complain to the office? No, of course not! Young children go through developmental phases, some of which include waking throughout the night! It's not fun, it's hard on the parents, but blaming us was just ridiculous as my son had been asleep for hours already and my husband and I were often in bed beforehand.

The yelling and shouting couple you heard, and the very immature door slamming? Definitely NOT US. It pissed me off and I knew we were getting blamed for our neighbors crapping actions... and while it caused some tension to do so we found out who it was for certain, we let them know it wasn't okay and contacted the office because it wasn't a one-time occurrence. My son throws tantrums and wants to kick doors, he's 3 years old, but my husband and I don't, just so you know.

We hear the washing machine pipes draining at all hours of the day and night. We have listened to well beyond any possible fair share of dogs barking... huskies whining, beagles bawling, the new sharpe puppy yipping. I hear your daughter and other little girls crying and screaming and carrying on. The dog owners running down the hall with their dogs trying to get them outside before they have an accident sounds like thunder. The kids upstairs running up and down the hall on days it's not fit to play outside can be very loud.  That's all part of apartment living. If you're not willing to put up with that you need to live on the top floor. I think you really need to admit how much of your problem with noise is because you're stressed out and how much is actually unacceptable noise. The noises you do hear, you need to listen to critically because unfortunately noise travels oddly in the building. The office knows this. Other tenants know this. It would serve you well to accept it because I'm not making that up. I will not waste another day on a meeting you may or may not keep. My son and I stayed close to home all rainy Monday so I would be on time to the meeting. He wasn't allowed to take his nap because he would've slept through when I needed to be at the office. Your comfort is no longer going to come at my son's expense. I'm not a terrible neighbor. Other than the night of February 11 we have been quite quiet and courteous even to our own detriment. I am through feeling like a prisoner to your whims in my own apartment. Please reevaluate what you find acceptable noise and accept that not every noise you hear comes from directly above you.

Sincerely,
Your neighbor who is through giving a damn.